Good news, everyone! Chester McBadbat’s dad is still alive in the 31st century! Remember him? Come on, from The Fairly Oddparents. The really terrible baseball player with the bag over his head? No? Well this is awkward, because that’s the closest thing I've got to good news for you this episode. After snapping some candid shots of All My Circuits star Calculon, Bender becomes a star paparazzo for Us People Weekly, “the magazine the most women deny reading!”.

Zoidberg introduces Langdon Cobb, the greatest actor in the world, whose face no one has seen (because he always wears a paper bag over his head, even when in films – see? That reference totally worked!)  Never one to back down from a challenge, Bender makes it his mission to track down the elusive man and snag a pic. With the help of a sixty-foot ladder and no thanks to an “attack fungus/moldy schnauzer,” he gets it. Cobb begs Bender not to release the photograph, but he shows it to Fry, then two other crew members, reducing them all to husks of skin – hey, Bender is nothing if not scientifically thorough. And an asshole. But whatever. As it turns out, Cobb is a quantum lichen, a race of aliens that feed off of other people’s attention – and now you understand why he came to Earth to become a celebrity. Please, could someone cue the “statement of society’s shallowness” soundtrack? Yes, I’ve made one. This “everyone over-worships celebrities” stint has been pulled so many times that I went ahead and made a soundtrack of other cheesy, overly-preachy, overly-played tunes to match. Its use is explicitly for anyone or anything too uncreative to rehash the idea after it was beaten into the ground years ago.

Ah ha – bet you didn’t see that slap of negativity coming! Neither did I. This episode was actually really funny up until this point, and it’s funny outside of this dumb, preachy context that is so rare for Futurama. Calculon’s death scene from Rome-O and Julie-T, by will.i.am Shakespeare was freaking priceless, and even the Professor (who stopped being a major character for some reason) had a few good moments. But when the moral of “stop feeding celebrities’ egos because they aren’t that important” became all too clear, I could do nothing but groan. I’m all for humor with a message, but that doesn’t mean I want to feel like I’m at church on a Sunday, talking about the “backwards morals of our generation” when I flip on Comedy Central. I was flashing back to my Catholic high school, dozing and drooling my way through religion class. That probably seems a bit strong, but sue me – I’m here to laugh, not to learn!

Futurama, you were doing so good! What happened? Even this episode was really, really funny, but you just had to try and teach me something that got pounded into my head years ago. Are we still on for next week? Let’s hope you can step up your game. Until next week, kids!