I’m happy to say that Alcatraz and I are back on speaking terms.  It’s been a rough few weeks, but we’ve really worked out our differences.  This week, Alcatraz showed some fucking respect and started upping its game, and thus I stopped verbally abusing the show with acerbic mirth.  Like any good relationship, that's win/win. 

In this week’s episode, we met our first guard and the episode’s namesake, Guy Hastings (Jim Parrack, True Blood), who supervised the guards of Alcatraz back in the 1960s. In Pastcatraz, we see him training -- and being suspicious of -- a certain new guard.  In present time, Hastings kidnaps said guard, who is now all grown up and happens to be Madsen’s uncle, Ray Archer (Robert Forster, The Descendants).  Meanwhile, Madsen and Soto, and even Hauser, join forces to bring the prick to justice before he goes and shoots off someone’s junk.  Or just try to get him in custody.

The episode was far less predictable than its predecessors and actually quite engaging.  The detectives weren’t trying to race to find a child killer, or bank robber, or crazed sniper, or any other lame murderer that leads to a conventional narrative and obvious outcome.  They were trying to save old Uncle Ray from the hands of a confused and hurt prison guard with ambiguous intentions.  And while the whole time we knew Ray would probably survive, Hastings would be caught and everything would be back to boring, we listened to the interesting dialog, because it revealed a lot about Ray and the show’s mythology, such as the secrets hidden by Ray and what happened to the inmates and guard. The plotting -- how the kidnapping occurred, where they went, what was revealed during those times, and the resolution -- was all fairly well done and nothing seemed too forced or procedural as the previous episodes.

Which brings me to my next point.  The show has revealed much more than I thought it would by only the fifth episode.  This is good and bad.  Good, because we are quickly getting more and more information about why a bunch of inmates and guards went and vanished into thin air and why they’re coming back, one by one, to continue their crime sprees, completely oblivious to their own mysterious reappearance.  Bad, because I’m not sure how long they can keep up this pace.  My only hope is that it doesn’t turn out to be one of those convoluted government conspiracies, where, by the end, there are 3,943 double crosses and clandestine operations you have to follow.  Or aliens.  If it’s aliens, so help me God, Alcatraz…

[SPOILER ALERT] This week we learned that when the guards and prisoners disappeared they wound up in a room, where “They” (some important people) told all the reappearing people that their families were dead and it wasn’t the 1960s anymore.  If we are to believe Hastings, then it appears the Alcatraz residents experienced a sort of time jump, under the direction of knowing officials – which, I assumed, as Hauser kept talking with his staff about when the group had “jumped.”  The important people -- “They” – seem to have constructed this jump for some dubious experiment or cause, as the inmates and guards seem to return to complete some mission or another, such as seeking certain keys or people.  Or just murdering some kids like the good ol’ days.  

Much of the episode’s intrigue comes from this week’s Monster from Alcatraz, who is not a monster at all, but a troubled hero -- a decent guard who vanished along with his criminal counterparts and is now looking to find his daughter.  And find Madsen’s grandfather to probably kill.  Finally, we see a character with a bit more confusion about his current state and inability to make sense of it all.  The actor pulled it together nicely, and his story may actually add some humanity to this project in the long run.  Also, the warden seems to know some scary shit.  On that thread, I am kind of growing fond of the warden.  He’s only a bastard to bastards.  And in this show, that’s probably one of the most charming guys you’re going to get.

Uncle Ray also takes a welcome step to the forefront of the show.  [SPOILER ALERT] Apart from being just a solid character, we find out Ray knows about the vanishing Alcatrazans, and Hauser actually came to Archer before Madsen, asking for his part in the hunt.  Also, Ray has had a few correspondences with Madsen’s grandfather, who is actually his biological brother -- something that may come into play later on.

One problem still lies in the fact that I don’t give a damn about the detectives, Madsen, especially, or even Soto and Hauser.  I don’t hate them, I don’t really dislike them either, but I couldn’t really be bothered about their plights.  They're just vehicles at this point for other, complex characters -- like Harry Potter was to every other character in the books.  And I don’t know if it’s me, or the writing, or characters in general, but I can’t find myself involved in the procedural cop drama that interrupts the more interesting stories of the Alcatraz inmates and guards.  This episode had more delicious information, and let the characters in both timelines actually do the storytelling, but still involved Madsen and Soto searching one venue, exclaiming confusion, searching another venue, repeating confusion, solving something, then just shooting the bad guy in an appendage while he’s holding someone hostage.  So, so many destroyed body parts in this show. 

And a minor disappointment with the series -- which doesn’t detract from my grading of the series at all, but is simply upsetting -- is the naming of the episodes. I really enjoy with a mystery series looking ahead and seeing a title that creates an air of mystery, sending my mind to wander and theorizing as to what the title refers.  With Alcatraz, it’s just names.  Names of horrible, horrible people.  Oh well, at least they’re improving the actual content of the series, so I don’t have to call it dumb and badmouth it behind its stupid back, making everyone think it’s a big, dumb idiot.  Me and Alcatraz -- we’re both happy.  For the week.